Maybe Baby?

For so long I have sucessfully prevented it and now that I am ready...nothing. For 17 months...nothing. I am beyond frustrated. My husband Matt seems unconcerned that NOTHING has happened. He says we're not trying hard enough. And that frustrates me even more. So that is why I have stepped up and made the decision myself. We are seeing (or have seen) a fertility doctor. Scary...yes. Expensive...yes. But, I need help. We need help.

Last week we saw Dr. Michael Henry with Reproductive Care of Indiana for the first time. The consultation quite typical. The physician asked questions while I nervously answered hoping not to sound ignorant. Matt sat quietly and calmly next to me answering questions like he was in an interview. Of course he would be the one to have it together. I on the other hand began to sweat profusely. I am a nervous, anxiety filled creature. My ususal response is to cry, but thankfully that didn't happen...this time.

Lab work was done. The ususal (I've done my research)...FSH, LH, TSH, Estradiol, Progesterone, and Prolactin. We discussed a Hysterosalpingogram (say that 10 times fast). To my horror I was told that an HSG (performed between cycle day 5 and 12) is an x-ray of my fallopian tubes and uterus. And how is this performed you ask? A catheter (that word alone freaks me out) will placed in my cervix and contrast material is instilled. X-ray's will be taken as the contrast dye fills my uterus and the tubes. We were told process only takes a few minutes and may cause mild cramping. Oh, is that it. I am so looking forward to it. Can you hear the sarcasm?

And that brings us to yesterday. Also known as cycle day 5 in the infertility world. Known to me as H-Day (you know, instead of D-Day). Very sleepily Matt and I left for Indianapolis at 6:15 in the morning for our (he had one too...wink, wink) appointments. We arrived 30 minutes early into a part of the city that Matt quickly called the "high rent district." I didn't disagree. Just the word infertility screams money and from what we saw Methodist Medical Plaza North is anything but short of it. It is beautiful.

As I registered for my procedure, Matt was whisked away for his. A short time later a very friendly nurse named Jeri explained to me what was going to take place and confidently answered the questions I had. It must have been the look in my eyes as I waited for the doctor to arrive because several times she came to me assuring me that I would do just fine. Again, I am a nervous, anxiety filled creature. But this time, slightly less with absolutely no clue the pain I was about to endure.

Yes, pain. I'm not going to lie. It f#@*ing hurt. Menstrual cramps, huh? More like...well, I don't know. But thanks to Dr. Henry's quick work, what seemed like 30 minutes probably only lasted 3. I am so glad that Matt was able to be in the room with me. I would have cried like a baby if he wasn't. It was more than worth it though. And I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to.

The results: Matt's sperm is spectacular. My uterus and fallopian tubes are terrific.

So, what's the issue, I ask? Dr. Henry thinks that because my period is so unpredictable it is difficult to determine when I am ovulating. But, there is a way to fix that...

The plan: On day 3 of my next cycle I will start 5 days worth of Clomid. Clomid is an oral medication used to help stimulate ovaries to make follicles (fluid filled sacs that house eggs). Followed by a transvaginal ultrasound on day 12 to check for follicle development. Mature follicles indicate that there should be an egg inside ready to be released with ovulation. If there are mature follicles I will proceed with an injection of Ovidrel (the only recombinant, liquid, ready-to-inject human chorionic gonadotropin approved in the world) followed by intercourse over the next 2 evenings. I am to take a home pregnancy test 16 days after the HCG injection. If it's negative we try it again...period, Clomid, ultrasound, Ovidrel. If nothing has happened by September we will do artificial insemination 36 hours after the HCG has been administered. Then again, a home pregnancy test 16 days after insemination. If that doesn't work...I don't know. I am certain Dr. Henry will have conceived a new plan for us to continue our journey into parenthood.

So now we wait. I "expect" my next cycle to begin July 4th. It's going to be a long 30 days.