Bills, Bills, Bills

Don't get me wrong. I did expect them. I just want to complain like everyone else. I can do that.

I have worked in medical/billing/insurance industry for some time now. Previously, with a large clinic that did everything they could to squeeze every exuberant, at times highly overpriced or even irrelevant charge into a visit that most people would have assumed (that's the problem...makes an ass out of you and me) would be at least be less than their weekly salary. On the bright side, the insurance they provided to their employees was phenomenal. I left because the commute was killing me and my marriage.

Now, I work for a much smaller (think 300 doctors smaller) clinic that does everything it can to squeeze every exuberant, at times highly overpriced or even irrelevant charge into a visit that 99% of people cannot afford to pay...even after insurance. Speaking of insurance...theirs is horrific. I was spoiled before.

In short...when I worked for the "large clinic" I ended up owing only 10%...of ANY SERVICE after I met my $250 deductible. I paid less than $20 a month for this insurance. With the "small clinic" have a $1550 deductible and will owe 20% on services after that (if I go to an in-network provider). This is insurance that I am already paying almost $100 a month for...that doesn't cover anything after the diagnosis of infertility. The coverage is so horrific I want to vomit.

Currently, I have been billed a disheartening $1,946.10. Not all of this is has processed with my insurance yet, but regardless I know I will owe more than $900 to satisfy my deductible. I did the math. And this is just the "inexpensive" stuff now. Ugh.

The initial consultation with Dr. Henry was $200. This I expected. The 6 labs ordered by Dr. Henry totaled $559.85. Holy crap! I'm not shocked though. Labs are outrageous anywhere. And then the HSG...$1186.25. I could be wrong, but I believe this the radiology fee only. Dr. Henry may bill separately to perform and read it. The $1,946.10 total does not include the office visit we had after the HSG or the medications I have purchased ($114 so far). Ugh.

Done. I am done grumbling. I could go on and on about the medical industry and how it is ruining the lives of Americans. But I won't. That is another story for another blog.

Money doesn't grow on the trees in our front yard. And Matt and I are by no means wealthy. But, we will pay these bills with and continue our journey. There is a baby girl...or boy...or both in our future. I can see the poop filled diapers now. I can also see Matt gaging until he pukes while begging me to "please just change it this time. I will get it next time."

I can't wait!

Ovulating

I am embarrassed. I am a 31 year old woman and did not know the signs, the symptoms of ovulation until recently. I idioticly mistook them for premenstrual cramps therefore shooed Matt away like a stray dog. Oh my! I can't help but laugh otherwise I would probably cry. I did that for 17 months, people. No joke!

More than 5 years ago I was told that I may not ovulate per labs I had performed. Why those tests were done is story that I do not care to discuss. It is my past. In case you were wondering. The point is, shortly after I was given this news it did not matter if I was ovulating or not. And the issue was never an issue with me again.

That is until Matt and I started trying to conceive. That thought...me not ovulating...consumed my thoughts. I did discuss it with Matt, but we decided to just try on our own for awhile. He didn't want hear the details on why I thought I wasn't ovulating. Again, it is my past and he wants hear nothing of it.

Why after after over a year of nothing did it never occur to me that I may be ovulating now? I mean, that "possible" diagnosis was years ago. I've changed since then...why couldn't that change too? Hey Ang, why don't you search the Internet for the symptoms? Amazingly, that thought honestly never crossed my mind. I get on the Internet to find out other things. Silly things like why dogs eat poop. I will read Daniel Tosh's blog daily. But never, not one time did I ever attempt to read about ovulation. Maybe my sub-conscious was afraid of what I may read; that maybe it was true that I wasn't ovulating.

Regardless, I now know the symptoms and that I do ovulate thanks to Dr. Henry. And I can tell you that I am ovulating today, without a doubt. And I am so excited about that!

The Sweetest Thing...

I failed to mention something in my initial blog. How could I forget? It was the sweetest thing...

Since we've been trying Matt has seemed less than excited about the possibility of becoming parents. Sure, he went along with it. What man wouldn't? But after a few months of trying and nothing happening he began to act like he wasn't ready to be a father in the first place. He'd see me get upset after taking a pregnancy test and make every excuse in the book as to why "we're not ready" and that we have "plenty of time" to start a family. He'd bring up the money issue...that we won't be able to do the things we've been able to do...vacations...dinner and a movie every weekend...new golf clubs just because....once we have children. I honestly had no idea if he was really ready or he if he was just saying these things to make me feel better. That is until our appointment last week.

More than once I saw a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. Finally! After our consultation (and before the nurse came back in the room) he asked me..."So, if you get pregnant in July when would you have the baby." I responded with a swollen heart..."April, honey". It's all I could do not to jump up and give him a big smooch! Then on our way home he was speaking with a customer (Matt is a John Deere salesman) on the phone. Matt had told him the previous day that we had an doctor appointment first thing in the morning and that he would call him afterwards. From what I could decipher, the customer asked if everything was alright at our appointment (it lasted a couple of hours). And Matt's response was..."something great will come from this." Again...and if he wasn't driving in Indianapolis traffic...I would have jumped over the seat to kiss him!

I love Matt more than the sweetest words could ever express. And after that day, I am confident that my love for him will outlast even the greatest of romances. If at the end of this journey we are still just a family of two I will still love him until the world ends. He is my favorite!

Maybe Baby?

For so long I have sucessfully prevented it and now that I am ready...nothing. For 17 months...nothing. I am beyond frustrated. My husband Matt seems unconcerned that NOTHING has happened. He says we're not trying hard enough. And that frustrates me even more. So that is why I have stepped up and made the decision myself. We are seeing (or have seen) a fertility doctor. Scary...yes. Expensive...yes. But, I need help. We need help.

Last week we saw Dr. Michael Henry with Reproductive Care of Indiana for the first time. The consultation quite typical. The physician asked questions while I nervously answered hoping not to sound ignorant. Matt sat quietly and calmly next to me answering questions like he was in an interview. Of course he would be the one to have it together. I on the other hand began to sweat profusely. I am a nervous, anxiety filled creature. My ususal response is to cry, but thankfully that didn't happen...this time.

Lab work was done. The ususal (I've done my research)...FSH, LH, TSH, Estradiol, Progesterone, and Prolactin. We discussed a Hysterosalpingogram (say that 10 times fast). To my horror I was told that an HSG (performed between cycle day 5 and 12) is an x-ray of my fallopian tubes and uterus. And how is this performed you ask? A catheter (that word alone freaks me out) will placed in my cervix and contrast material is instilled. X-ray's will be taken as the contrast dye fills my uterus and the tubes. We were told process only takes a few minutes and may cause mild cramping. Oh, is that it. I am so looking forward to it. Can you hear the sarcasm?

And that brings us to yesterday. Also known as cycle day 5 in the infertility world. Known to me as H-Day (you know, instead of D-Day). Very sleepily Matt and I left for Indianapolis at 6:15 in the morning for our (he had one too...wink, wink) appointments. We arrived 30 minutes early into a part of the city that Matt quickly called the "high rent district." I didn't disagree. Just the word infertility screams money and from what we saw Methodist Medical Plaza North is anything but short of it. It is beautiful.

As I registered for my procedure, Matt was whisked away for his. A short time later a very friendly nurse named Jeri explained to me what was going to take place and confidently answered the questions I had. It must have been the look in my eyes as I waited for the doctor to arrive because several times she came to me assuring me that I would do just fine. Again, I am a nervous, anxiety filled creature. But this time, slightly less with absolutely no clue the pain I was about to endure.

Yes, pain. I'm not going to lie. It f#@*ing hurt. Menstrual cramps, huh? More like...well, I don't know. But thanks to Dr. Henry's quick work, what seemed like 30 minutes probably only lasted 3. I am so glad that Matt was able to be in the room with me. I would have cried like a baby if he wasn't. It was more than worth it though. And I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to.

The results: Matt's sperm is spectacular. My uterus and fallopian tubes are terrific.

So, what's the issue, I ask? Dr. Henry thinks that because my period is so unpredictable it is difficult to determine when I am ovulating. But, there is a way to fix that...

The plan: On day 3 of my next cycle I will start 5 days worth of Clomid. Clomid is an oral medication used to help stimulate ovaries to make follicles (fluid filled sacs that house eggs). Followed by a transvaginal ultrasound on day 12 to check for follicle development. Mature follicles indicate that there should be an egg inside ready to be released with ovulation. If there are mature follicles I will proceed with an injection of Ovidrel (the only recombinant, liquid, ready-to-inject human chorionic gonadotropin approved in the world) followed by intercourse over the next 2 evenings. I am to take a home pregnancy test 16 days after the HCG injection. If it's negative we try it again...period, Clomid, ultrasound, Ovidrel. If nothing has happened by September we will do artificial insemination 36 hours after the HCG has been administered. Then again, a home pregnancy test 16 days after insemination. If that doesn't work...I don't know. I am certain Dr. Henry will have conceived a new plan for us to continue our journey into parenthood.

So now we wait. I "expect" my next cycle to begin July 4th. It's going to be a long 30 days.